Digression: Writing Tips
A Clockwork Orange: Pg. 62-65, pg. 75-76
Brave New World: Pg. 64-65 (description of Bernard); The Orgy-Porgy scene, pg. 82-86; Lenina's stream of consciousness, pg. 87-88.
When we write a story, there are a lot of interruptions that might happen to the narrator/speaker, etc.
In narrative fiction, the use of a single skipped line to create what is called "white space" which, I suppose, has become an ominous political reminder--and I wish there was a different term for it--but it's that blank space between paragraphs that either allows the writer/narrator to shift a scene to another location (like a fade, cut, or dissolve in a film), or shift the narrator's point of view (changing POV or narrators), or allows the writer/narrator to move the story forward or backward in time. What's cool about this kind of space is that it signals a reader that your narration is changing--either you are changing POV, time, setting/location, or ending a sequence or scene.
If you're writing a longer short story (more than a few pages), you might consider using sub-chapters to alert your reader that a new episode (like an episode of a TV show, or a sequel to a film) is beginning. If Star Wars was a book, each episode could be a chapter or sub-chapter of a long short story.
Here's some tips concerning what you can do with those old drafts in your portfolio:
1. Do not confuse the semicolon with the colon. Do not use these instead of the em-dash. The ellipsis...well, that's another matter.
A semicolon connects two INDEPENDENT CLAUSES (that's two complete sentences) together without the need for a conjunction. Conjunctions are words that connect sentences (ideas).
They are 1. (coordinating): FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.
2. (subordinating) think: lesser importance or more restrictive--that is, subordinating conjunctions need to explain a condition or rule or order or sequence:
Ex. The dog ate out of the garbage can. He got sick.
Ex. Once the dog ate out of the garbage can, he got sick.
Ex. The dog ate out of the garbage can and he got sick.
Ex. Since the dog ate out of the garbage can, he got sick.
Ex. The dog ate out of the garbage can; he got sick.
You cannot correctly combine a complete sentence to an incomplete sentence with a semicolon.
Ex. The god burped up the universe. He excused himself. Correct. (Two complete ideas, separated by a period).
Ex. The god burped up the universe and excused himself. Correct. (Subject (the god) is doing the same thing before and after the conjunction).
Ex. The god burped up the universe; he excused himself. Correct. (Two complete ideas, separated by a semi-colon)
Ex. The god burped up the universe; sick. Incorrect. (Sick is not a complete sentence).
Ex. The god burped up the universe; I like petunias. Incorrect (the two sentences don't go together as a similar idea).
If you don't want a semi-colon, and you want a digression, you can use the fabulous em dash. That's what it does. It helps a writer digress or change his/her mind. It can take the place of a comma, a parenthesis, an ellipsis, or a colon. Don't use more than two in a sentence!
Ex. The god jumped into the Milky Way--splash! (used in place of a colon)
Ex. Angry, defiant, and without a care--the god jumped into the Milky Way. (used in place of a colon)
Ex. And yet, when the god jumped into the Milky Way--a feat that boggles our mind--it made a cosmic splash! (used in place of a parenthesis or comma)
Ex. The god jumped into the Milky Way--exactly what the universe expected him to do! (used in place of a comma or colon).
Ex. Expecting a splash--the god jumped into the Milky Way! (used in place of a comma).
When used in place of a comma, the em dash is more powerful. The reader notices the digression or extra information easier (it adds stress to the idea!) Em dashes also help a reader understand the writer's point by making it clearer.
When proofreading/editing/revising: notice your sentence structure. If you have too many commas--use an em dash instead. Circle your own semi-colons; make sure you have a complete sentence on either side of it--just like balancing an equation! Combine and craft your sentences with care!
Other ways to improve your revisions:
1. Change the tense. If it's a short story or poem--put it in present tense if you had it first in past. This is not always a good option for longer short stories. It gives an energy and immediacy to your story.
2. Use white space to separate scenes. Each scene should function like a tiny, tiny short story. It has an opening or exposition, rising action, complication, crisis, climax, and perhaps a denouement or resolution.
3. Describe. Setting. You need one. Just like an establishing shot in film, each time you move a scene, you have to consider describing the new situation, scene, setting, etc.
4. Rearrange the plot. Get your plot out of chronological order.
5. Shift POV (if you wrote in 1st person, try 2nd or 3rd. 3rd is either objective, limited, or omniscient.)
6. Get inside your character's head. Psychoanalyze him/her. Use stream of consciousness.
7. Allude. Teach us something we forgot or never knew. Make connections to a reader's life by comparing actions or ideas with those things in the world. Make reference to a world that is larger than your story. It's not only all about the protagonist. Myths are good for this. So is history, philosophy, or psychology.
Brave New World: Pg. 64-65 (description of Bernard); The Orgy-Porgy scene, pg. 82-86; Lenina's stream of consciousness, pg. 87-88.
When we write a story, there are a lot of interruptions that might happen to the narrator/speaker, etc.
In narrative fiction, the use of a single skipped line to create what is called "white space" which, I suppose, has become an ominous political reminder--and I wish there was a different term for it--but it's that blank space between paragraphs that either allows the writer/narrator to shift a scene to another location (like a fade, cut, or dissolve in a film), or shift the narrator's point of view (changing POV or narrators), or allows the writer/narrator to move the story forward or backward in time. What's cool about this kind of space is that it signals a reader that your narration is changing--either you are changing POV, time, setting/location, or ending a sequence or scene.
If you're writing a longer short story (more than a few pages), you might consider using sub-chapters to alert your reader that a new episode (like an episode of a TV show, or a sequel to a film) is beginning. If Star Wars was a book, each episode could be a chapter or sub-chapter of a long short story.
Chp. 1: The Phantom MenaceIn punctuation land, there's a few things that you can do to indicate change of thought, shift in idea, draw a connection between one thing and another, delay gratification, reverse your plot, digress, change your mind, add details, create stream of consciousness, etc.
Chp. 2: Attack of the Clones (or Here Come the Clones!)
Chp. 3: Revenge of the Sith
Chp. 3.5: Rogue One
Chp. 4: A New Hope
Chp. 5: The Empire Strikes Back
Chp. 6: The Return of the Jedi
Chp. 7: The Force Awakens
Here's some tips concerning what you can do with those old drafts in your portfolio:
1. Do not confuse the semicolon with the colon. Do not use these instead of the em-dash. The ellipsis...well, that's another matter.
A semicolon connects two INDEPENDENT CLAUSES (that's two complete sentences) together without the need for a conjunction. Conjunctions are words that connect sentences (ideas).
They are 1. (coordinating): FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.
2. (subordinating) think: lesser importance or more restrictive--that is, subordinating conjunctions need to explain a condition or rule or order or sequence:
A: after, although, as, as if, as long as, as much as, as soon as, as thoughand (correlative): (they must be used in pairs--they can't go out into the world alone...! Think relative...)
B: because, before, by the time
E: even if, even though
I: if, in order that, in case
L: lest
O: once, only if
P: provided that
S: since, so that
T: than, that, though, till
U: unless, until
W: when, whenever, where, wherever, while
both... andAnyway, if you don't want to use one of these conjunctions, you can use a semi-colon instead to combine more than one idea.
either... or
neither... nor
not only... but also
whether... or
Ex. The dog ate out of the garbage can. He got sick.
Ex. Once the dog ate out of the garbage can, he got sick.
Ex. The dog ate out of the garbage can and he got sick.
Ex. Since the dog ate out of the garbage can, he got sick.
Ex. The dog ate out of the garbage can; he got sick.
You cannot correctly combine a complete sentence to an incomplete sentence with a semicolon.
Ex. The god burped up the universe. He excused himself. Correct. (Two complete ideas, separated by a period).
Ex. The god burped up the universe and excused himself. Correct. (Subject (the god) is doing the same thing before and after the conjunction).
Ex. The god burped up the universe; he excused himself. Correct. (Two complete ideas, separated by a semi-colon)
Ex. The god burped up the universe; sick. Incorrect. (Sick is not a complete sentence).
Ex. The god burped up the universe; I like petunias. Incorrect (the two sentences don't go together as a similar idea).
If you don't want a semi-colon, and you want a digression, you can use the fabulous em dash. That's what it does. It helps a writer digress or change his/her mind. It can take the place of a comma, a parenthesis, an ellipsis, or a colon. Don't use more than two in a sentence!
Ex. The god jumped into the Milky Way--splash! (used in place of a colon)
Ex. Angry, defiant, and without a care--the god jumped into the Milky Way. (used in place of a colon)
Ex. And yet, when the god jumped into the Milky Way--a feat that boggles our mind--it made a cosmic splash! (used in place of a parenthesis or comma)
Ex. The god jumped into the Milky Way--exactly what the universe expected him to do! (used in place of a comma or colon).
Ex. Expecting a splash--the god jumped into the Milky Way! (used in place of a comma).
When used in place of a comma, the em dash is more powerful. The reader notices the digression or extra information easier (it adds stress to the idea!) Em dashes also help a reader understand the writer's point by making it clearer.
When proofreading/editing/revising: notice your sentence structure. If you have too many commas--use an em dash instead. Circle your own semi-colons; make sure you have a complete sentence on either side of it--just like balancing an equation! Combine and craft your sentences with care!
Other ways to improve your revisions:
1. Change the tense. If it's a short story or poem--put it in present tense if you had it first in past. This is not always a good option for longer short stories. It gives an energy and immediacy to your story.
2. Use white space to separate scenes. Each scene should function like a tiny, tiny short story. It has an opening or exposition, rising action, complication, crisis, climax, and perhaps a denouement or resolution.
3. Describe. Setting. You need one. Just like an establishing shot in film, each time you move a scene, you have to consider describing the new situation, scene, setting, etc.
4. Rearrange the plot. Get your plot out of chronological order.
5. Shift POV (if you wrote in 1st person, try 2nd or 3rd. 3rd is either objective, limited, or omniscient.)
6. Get inside your character's head. Psychoanalyze him/her. Use stream of consciousness.
7. Allude. Teach us something we forgot or never knew. Make connections to a reader's life by comparing actions or ideas with those things in the world. Make reference to a world that is larger than your story. It's not only all about the protagonist. Myths are good for this. So is history, philosophy, or psychology.
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